This week is Thanksgiving in the U.S., a time when families gather together to eat copious amounts of food and silently hate each other, like pre-gaming for Christmas.
Fortunately for those saddled with the enormous task of cooking a Thanksgiving feast, the host of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert pointed out that they could just start the preparations early and bring the food along on their flight.
“According to the TSA, you can bring your Thanksgiving turkey on an airplane. Just tell them that’s your emotional support meat,” said Colbert. “As for other Thanksgiving foods, pies or cookies are allowed right in your carry-on, gravy and cranberry sauce can go in your checked luggage, and corn pudding can go directly to hell.”
Colbert also examined the latest Democrat to announce they are running for president, providing extra juice for the political arguments that traditionally marinate Thanksgiving turkeys. Billionaire Michael Bloomberg was Mayor of New York from 2002 to 2013, but only apologised for his stop-and-frisk policy which “disproportionately targeted black and Latino men” last week.
“He took a long, hard look at his past decisions, did some agonising reappraisal, and realised that in his heart, he’d really like to be president,” said Colbert.